After all this time...

A friend of mine came up to me yesterday, telling me about another old friend. She asked me if I had talked to that friend recently, if I had any contact with him at all after so long. Bluntly, I said no. It was awkward how she insisted-over and over- that I should try contacting him.

I was reluctant.

Why?

Because that old friend was an old sweetheart.

I had fallen in love with that overseas friend of mine, with the way he and I would talk for hours on end. It would seem like only minutes, until I’d realize it had really been 5 hours, as my mother would tell me to shut the computer down and get to bed. Nobody – at least no guy- has ever made me engage in such before. Actually, even now. Actually, probably, no guy ever will.

I feel pathetic, not even able to send him a smile.

Bitter, bitter, bitter -that’s how I am about him. And probably how I’ll always be.